Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
