Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
