I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
