Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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