Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
