he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
