Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
