dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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