It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
