Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize