hotel room ftw
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is my gift to your gina
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize