I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
