Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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