its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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