so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
