On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
