I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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