Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
