I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
