508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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