from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
