Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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