I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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