I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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