Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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