I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
