If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just gift wrapped bread.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
