My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
