why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
