omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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