Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
