Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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