Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
