I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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