somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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