he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
