Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
