You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
