OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
