I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
