yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i came on her dog
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
