we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
