Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
