I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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