suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Two words: nipple clamps
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