You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
