found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize