My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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