She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
