Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
