Tell her she can't have a vagina
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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