i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
