I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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