I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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