I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
