what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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