dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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