Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize