im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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