There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
