Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
