seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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